The Program
The order of events, August 21–23, 2026, at the house in Falmouth. Times are given as intentions rather than commitments.
Day I
Friday
the Twenty-First of August
-
Late Morning
Arrival of the Delegation
Guests are received at the house as they arrive. There is no receiving line. Those arriving first are asked to assist with the coolers.
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Afternoon
Settling of the Company
Bags are deposited. Sleeping arrangements are negotiated among the delegates without intervention from the Chair.
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Toward Evening
The Beach at Sunset
The company proceeds to the water for the setting of the sun. Attendance is expected. Punctuality is not.
-
Evening
Dinner and Drinks
Served at the house. The evening concludes when it concludes.
Day II
Saturday
the Twenty-Second of August
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Morning
Nine Holes
The golfing party departs early. Carts are shared. Scores are self-reported and, by long custom, disputed.
Liam · Greg · Kyle · The Commissioner
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Morning
The Beach Contingent
Those not golfing proceed directly to the sand and hold the position until relieved.
Alan · Dave · Nolan
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Midday
Luncheon
The two parties are reunited. Accounts of the morning are exchanged and largely discounted.
-
Afternoon
The Beach
The full company. Extended.
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Late Afternoon
Return to the House
Showers are taken in an order determined by force. Drinking resumes on the deck.
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Evening
Dinner
The principal meal of the weekend. Grilled. The Commissioner presides at the fire.
-
Eight o'Clock
The Main Event
The company is asked to be seated and attentive. Particulars are published separately.
-
Thereafter
The Afterparty
Open-ended. No formal conclusion is scheduled and none has ever been observed.
Day III
Sunday
the Twenty-Third of August
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Morning
The Farewell Breakfast
Substantial. The single largest meal of the weekend, served to a company in no condition to receive it.
-
Around Noon
Departure
The delegation disperses. The house is left as it was found, or as near to it as can be managed.
Attire
Coastal Informal
Swim trunks are appropriate from Friday afternoon through Sunday morning and require no accompaniment beyond a shirt at the table.
Collared shirts are required on the golf course and nowhere else. The club enforces this. The Commissioner enforces it more strictly than the club.
The commemorative shirt of the current year is worn Saturday evening for the Main Event. Shirts of prior years may be worn at any time and are regarded as a mark of standing.
Footwear is optional indoors, discouraged at dinner, and mandatory at the fire.
A Letter
From the Hosts
To the Delegation,
Three years ago six of you arrived on a Friday afternoon and asked whether it would be all right to stay through Sunday. It was. It has been every year since, and the question has not been asked again, which we take as a compliment.
You are welcome in this house. You are welcome to the grill, the coolers, the beach chairs in the garage, and the good towels, which are the ones on the left. You are asked in return to close the slider so the flies stay out, to keep the volume reasonable after eleven, and to leave the golf clubs where you found them.
We are told there is a competition on Saturday evening. We have been told this for three years. We have never been told the rules.
We are glad you keep coming back.
The Commissioner & The Chairwoman
Frequently Asked
- May I bring a guest?
- No.
- What is the parking situation?
- The driveway holds three. The rest of the delegation will park on the street and walk the forty yards without comment.
- Is there a registry?
- There is no registry. Guests who wish to contribute are directed to the liquor store on the way in, and are asked to remember what the Chairwoman drinks.
- What if it rains?
- The Program proceeds. The beach becomes the porch. The Main Event is unaffected.
- Should I bring anything for the grill?
- The Commissioner has it handled and would prefer not to be helped. Bring ice.
- What time should I actually arrive on Friday?
- The Program says late morning. History says four o'clock.